There are several possible outcomes if you decide to text your ex after a breakup. Depending on the circumstances of the relationship, your text messages may meet with open acceptance or extreme opposition.
When you want to win your ex back, sending carefully crafted text messages can be a great way to break down your ex’s opposition and open them up to the idea of being with you again. Texting can help you create a private and intimate path to your ex. It is easy. It’s subtle. It’s not confrontational.
Texting your ex can build intimacy, attraction, and desire without causing you and your ex to fight or fall back into destructive patterns. It can be a vital and powerful tool in helping you win your ex back when done slowly, strategically, and systematically.
But what about the extreme opposition that we discussed above? What happens when your ex wants nothing to do with you and reacts negatively to your text messages by “yelling” at you something like “Don’t text me anymore!”
First, realize that this shows that your ex still has feelings for you. Yes, it’s a negative emotion, but negative emotion is better than no emotion at all. You can learn how to turn your ex’s negative emotions to your advantage, and texting can help you do that. What you don’t want is complete apathy from your ex.
Next, understand that if your ex is sending you a negative and aggressive text, then you need more time. They are still injured. They are still angry. They are not ready to forgive and move on.
Just send a text saying something like “Sorry. Hope all is well with you.” Then resist the urge to contact them again for at least 4-6 weeks so some of that negative emotion can wear off.
Lastly, don’t let your ex turn things into a fight. You have to resist the temptation to turn negative no matter what. It’s part of human nature to want to stand up for yourself, defend yourself, and overcome any resistance your ex throws up, but he has to keep things positive.
You will do a lot more harm than good if you try to apologize or try to talk your ex into talking to you when they are feeling extremely negative towards you. The words “don’t text me anymore” don’t have to mean forever if you know how to react and respond in a way that doesn’t escalate the situation any further.