About a year ago, I spent Thanksgiving with my in-laws as usual, but I, along with almost everyone else at the gathering, noticed that my mother-in-law was very quiet, eating almost nothing, and seemed out. Now, the whole family has to deal with what turned out to be an Alzheimer’s diagnosis and has to decide when home health care might be the best option. In short, it’s been a hell of a change.
At first, the family didn’t know what to make of the diagnosis. Some were shocked and some were angry. When it came to my in-laws (Ma & Pops), they didn’t see the need for any alarms and didn’t think anything was wrong. Unfortunately, one phone call changed everything and suddenly everyone had to spring into action.
My brother-in-law went for a follow-up visit and saw that my father-in-law fell, badly hurt himself and became unconscious. After seeing his dad in this state, he panicked about what could have happened to his mom. It turns out that she didn’t know that anything had happened or that her husband was in danger. Things had certainly changed.
Now, our lives are filled with physical and electronic calendars in everyone’s homes writing down doctor’s appointments, dividing up who takes the in-laws out for groceries and other errands (they’re no longer allowed to drive), and finding ways to try to keep things as normal as possible for a situation that is anything but normal. The problem is that when you think things are moving in the right direction, you quickly get a dose of reality. Between my brother-in-law’s major health issues and an increasing severity in Ma’s demotion, everyone is at or near a breaking point.
This is where home health care has become an incredibly important topic for all of us. We have found that there are several agencies in the area that provide services, but they are not all the same. As such, if you are considering home health care for your family, make a list of the specialties and needs that a potential home health care provider should address. This way, you can narrow down your search. It has also been important to my family to make sure that the agencies we seek put an emphasis on the independence of the people they care for.
Ma & Pops are retired educators with decades of experience, multiple degrees (Dr. Pops to be specific), and have been married since the early 60’s. They have made a successful living based on hard work and determination. In fact, Pops still mows his own lawn and is 81 years old. Being able to maintain independence for them is essential for the whole family, and it is something that you should definitely keep in mind.
Ultimately, the one thing I’ve learned about home health care is that it does more than just help those being cared for—it helps everyone. Therein lies the most important part of finding the right agency. We’re still making things work right now, but now that we’ve started the conversation about home health care, everyone seems a little more relaxed and confident that we can make the right decision when the time is right. Every family is different, so if your family is thinking about home health care, have a plan, be patient, and take heart knowing that everything will be okay.