I had my first book and my first baby in the same year. It wasn’t great planning, I know, but it turned out that way. Now I’m nearing the two-year mark and reflecting on what I’ve lost and what I’ve managed to regain after absorbing the inevitable changes that come with having a child. I’m back to my pre-pregnancy weight, that’s good. I’m working out and practicing yoga again, that’s good. I am writing again. Is that good? Well yes and no. I am writing, but not in the usual, disciplined way that I used to write before my life changed. Now I write in fits and starts, depending on when I can carve out some time for myself, which also depends on how well my son is sleeping at any given time. When I write this way, it’s harder to find my way back to what I was thinking, depending on how long it’s been since I last looked at the pages. I find this a painful way of working and now realize that I miss my writing habit more than anything.
I realize, of course, that my clothes can’t be the same. I am a mother now, after all. But I think I can have my writing habit, it just has to be different now and I have to figure out what those differences must be. These are some of the things I’m doing to find my way back into my writing habit. If you’re having trouble developing a writing routine, perhaps these steps can help you figure out how to achieve yours.
Focus on one project at a time
If I’ve learned anything as a new mom, it’s this: multitasking is so overrated! You may be able to physically do more than one thing at a time, but one way or another, your work on one of the tasks will be negatively affected. I think this becomes more apparent as you get closer to your overwhelming point. Tasks are manageable when your life is relatively quiet, but add a vacation, visiting family, or an unexpected trip and suddenly you’re struggling with the weight of unfinished work that has started to pile up.
Right now I have four writing projects going on and it’s beginning to feel like too many. My brain is pulled in too many directions. I know it’s time to clean the decks. Over the next few weeks I will be completing these projects, one at a time, so that I can start on a larger project that I will devote my full attention to. What can you complete or set aside in the next few weeks so that you can focus on your writing?
develop a ritual
Rituals are those little routine acts that tell your mind it’s time to get to work. She used to have a little piece of paper and on it she would write something that she had paraphrased from Annie Dillard’s The Writing Life. He would say: “Write Sophfronia, write Sophfronia, write Sophfronia, write and don’t waste time.” Every time I walked into my cubicle in The Writer’s Room in New York’s Greenwich Village (where I did most of the work on my first novel), I would pin the paper to the bulletin board in front of my desk. Then I would take out my materials and start working.
Some writers light a candle. Some pray. Your ritual can be whatever you want it to be, whatever turns your engine on the most. I’m going to find some pictures of women that look like my characters. I will put them in front of me or on my desk. They will tell me that it is time to work. What ritual can you create to move to write?
Find routes already traveled
Whenever I have trouble concentrating, I look to other artists to see how they dealt with the same problem. Why reinvent the wheel when someone else may have a battle-tested solution? Right now I am getting much needed support and inspiration from the book “The Creative Habit” by choreographer Twyla Tharp. She cares about developing a routine, so she’s reinforcing my feeling that I need to get back into a disciplined writing habit. Because of it I know that I am not putting my energies in a fruitless direction. Where could you seek help for your trip?
Can you make a compromise?
There is a certain habit that I have that I have never quit: I wash my face and apply toner and moisturizer every morning and every night. I’ve done it for so many years I don’t even think about it. I do it because I know it’s good for my skin and I made a commitment to do it a long time ago. I heard author Wayne Dyer vowed to jog every day. He does it even if he is away. He has been seen running up and down hotel corridors!
When I think about those kinds of commitments, I realize that there is a huge piece missing from my job in getting back into the habit of writing. I have yet to make a commitment to him. In the previous incarnation of my habit, I used to schedule my work and decline any invitations, appointments, or distractions that would have conflicted with my writing schedule. I know I have to make that decision to recommit. I will work through all the steps I mentioned above, but I know it won’t do any good if I don’t make the decision.
What does it take for you to commit to your work? What will you need to put it first, to not make excuses, to do it even when it seems like you don’t fit in? Find that answer, it is somewhere within you, and you will find your writing habit.