Does your fantasy baseball team suck in your league? Are you reading this for a friend whose team is sucking?
There is good news for you: you can simply rename your fantasy baseball team and get a boost in the second half! I’m not going to give you 3, not 5, but 7 renaming categories that are guaranteed to give your team a boost in the second half.
Thats not all. I will give you two examples of team names by category. Also, I’ll tell you one more thing: bees have hair on their eyes.
Let us begin.
- self-critical. Just kick your team while they’re down. Make fun of your team, make them feel bad about themselves, and make sure they know you’re disappointed. Rename your team with a name so full of hopelessness, it’s guaranteed to hit rock bottom. And there’s only one way to go when you’ve hit rock bottom! Boat. Examples: Underground sewer dwellers, slat clogs.
- Bravado. Or… you could take the opposite approach! After all, it’s not its blame your team is in the bathroom. Let the other fantasy owners know that you’re not out of it yet. Rename your team with a name that oozes so much confidence that you can’t help but win fantasy baseball gold. Examples: Shooting stars, great baseballs of destiny.
- Hipster indifference. Any man. Why should you care about a name? You have a new pair of vans. You don’t even need those glasses, they’re just for show. Rename your fantasy baseball team or not. you don’t care Examples: Vonnegut’s Van Riders, Bon Iver.
- philosophical. What does it really mean to win anyway? Take the time to truly reflect on the meaning of the name you place on your team. Expect. Or maybe there is no team… Is it life that imitates fantasy baseball or does fantasy baseball imitate life? Examples: Aardsma shrugged, Cooperstown confused.
- Crazy. YOU CAME TO PLAY IN THIS FANTASY BASEBALL LEAGUE!!!! “Wooo! I’d slap all of you owners, but God already beat me! John Rocker!” It’s better if the other owners recognize that you’ve lost your mind. They better fear you, because you’ll go crazy if you lose this league. Examples: Maggot Mashers, Funny Vampire Bunny Runs.
- Child optimism. Follow your heart and name your team after your childhood baseball hero. Because he will always help you! While you’re naming your team after your pup, go ahead and put a saddle on that unicorn and ride that rainbow. Isn’t fantasy baseball amazing, guys? Examples: Angels with Attitude, Impressive Flowers.
- Inconsiderate. If you’re on the back foot, you obviously haven’t thought much about your fantasy baseball team, so why start now? Just rename it whatever. go with the team [Insert Last Here]. That team name got you to 12th last year, so why mess with a good thing? Examples: The [Random Plural Noun], [Same as your fantasy football team].
There. you got it. I deliberately omitted the Dirty sports pun as a category. Really, don’t we have enough of those? Sure, they impress your friends, but you know who they don’t? Ladies.
Anyway, if these fantasy baseball team name ideas don’t give you a boost in the second half, I don’t know what will.