Here it comes again as I write this story. He will run to see me typing on the computer. This doesn’t happen all the time, only when she wants something from me. She’ll stand by my office door, she’ll look at me, and then she’ll look away. If I turn towards her, she comes towards me and rubs against me. She will lean into me and then put her head in my lap and look at me with those big brown eyes, daring me to guess what she wants. Is it food, water, outside, attention?
This time she wants nothing more than a little love and attention. She’s not always all about attention, but still, if someone walks into my office, she’ll walk in and get jealous. I don’t know why she acts so jealous, there is literally no one like her in my life. I love her attention as much as she needs mine.
There was a time when I thought I couldn’t replace my last furry friend when he tragically died. I actually had him put down, but it was an act of love. He hurt his knee and, although he could still move, he knew he suffered too long. Sure, he still wanted to be with me and go with me wherever I went. He had a hard time keeping up with me, although in the end that was not the biggest problem.
One day he lost the use of another leg, I knew it was time. I called the vet and asked if he could bring him in to end his suffering. I drove to the vet, paid the fee, and came home with a stretcher for my dog’s last trip. My wife and I had a hard time getting him onto the stretcher, but I think at times like these, you just think about what you have to do. After my dog was euthanized, I don’t remember much other than crying harder than for some people who have died.
Perhaps we cry for our pets because they depend on us more than most people and almost everything we do impacts their lives and deaths. We wonder if we did the right thing when it feels like that moment. I still miss him sometimes.
Now I have this dog that makes me laugh, gets excited when she sees me and runs around in circles, stops for a moment and leans towards me like she’s never been petted before.
Here she comes now looking for attention. I stroke her and she turns around so he can touch her whole body, especially her backside, she likes scratching more than anything. As she walks away from her, I see that I have been writing too long, the sun is setting. I have to go now and take my best friend for a walk before the day is over.