It’s amazing isn’t it? The difference between your boyfriend before the breakup and now since he left you. You thought you knew and loved him, but now you really question everything you felt about the man. Since the relationship ended, he has been a world-class jerk to you. He has gone from being a kind and compassionate partner to someone you hardly recognize. As much as you struggle to accept the end of your connection with him, you still wonder what’s going on. Why do men act like jerks after a breakup is a question women have been asking themselves for years. The answer can really stun you.
Just as your emotions are off the charts, your ex boyfriend’s are too. This can be hard to believe given all the rude and nasty things you’ve been saying lately. You have to look beyond those thoughts to the heart of why he is behaving the way he is. Men are not naturally as adept at dealing with difficult emotions as women. Instead of sitting down and talking about something negative they feel, they prefer to lash out. Their anxiety and feelings of emotional vulnerability cause some men to attack the person who made them feel those difficult emotions. Hence the reason you have become the verbal target of your ex boyfriend’s anger and disappointment.
If you left him, he may not give up his unattractive behavior for some time. He is working on his emotions and until he does, he will continue to wear the cap of a major idiot. The only thing you can do to remedy this is to separate from him. By creating some distance, you are showing her that her behavior towards you is not acceptable at all and that you value yourself too much to allow her to continue.
It’s incredibly important that you don’t take their insults or ravings personally. That is virtually impossible if you still have some lingering feelings for the man, but it is essential to your own worth not to put too much weight on what he says. Remember that he is desperately trying to hurt you in the same way that he has been hurt, and he will do whatever it takes to make sure that happens.
It is the same reason that some men get engaged to a new woman right after the breakdown of their long-term relationship. His reasoning behind this is twofold. A man who suffers after his relationship ends wants to stifle those feelings and can do so by reaching out to someone new. The other reason some men do this is simply to hurt their ex-girlfriend. They tell him that they have met a new woman who is everything his ex-girlfriend is not. They do this solely for the purpose of causing your heart ache. That’s an obvious jerk move and if you see it for what it is, you’ll be able to accept it a lot more easily.
Remember that your behavior is not a reflection of you or the time you spent together. Try to view his disrespectful antics as a sign that he is in deep emotional pain. If you do that, you can still see the good in him and remember the wonderful moments they shared before things went wrong.