How “good” are you at making new friends? Recent research has found that many of us (49%) are simply too busy to think about putting in the effort necessary to establish a new friendship with all that it entails. 63% say that work takes up too much time, while 65% blame housework.
The Campaign to End Loneliness, in association with YouGov, has revealed that 54% of British adults feel that it has been a long time since they have made new friends. Since loneliness is a problem, you would think that making new friends and connections would be considered a worthwhile investment, far more important than work and housework!
So why do so many people seem unwilling to do what it takes to forge new relationships? Is work and housework really a priority that you don’t have time to focus on meeting new people? Making the effort to smile or start a conversation that can turn into something more meaningful takes time, effort, and perhaps money, especially if the social aspect escalates. Does that look like too much hard work?
The survey found that 88% of the 2,000 people interviewed online felt that minor gestures, such as smiling at each other or sharing a small talk in a public place, such as on the bus or in a store, was a valuable way to address loneliness. Certainly, positive human interaction is a start to keeping the human connection alive. Maybe those transitory gestures are enough for busy people.
But how do we start making new friends, especially if other people aren’t especially receptive?
– One way is to meet new people in a relaxed social situation.. If we are interested in a specific activity, such as music, sport, theater, why not find a local group that suits that interest? There we can meet people with similar interests to ours, it is more likely that we will maintain our enthusiasm and over time we will get to know people quite well. New friends are often made in relaxed social settings.
– If we already have a complete social calendar but it does not inspire us especially Could it be time to clean up some of our friends in a less prominent position? There may be friends from childhood, from school time, from when the children were young, from our old neighborhood, and we may have kept in touch, meeting regularly over the years. If they have now become a routine obligation rather than a pleasure, why not start by being less available or mixing those meetings into a more group invitation, making them more relaxed and fun while freeing up some time? That way, you can make room in your journal for new ways to spend your free time.
– Many people make friends through work.. A shared occupation may not be enough to maintain a lifelong friendship, but it is often enough for people to share fun and interesting moments together and often provides a lot of common ground for discussion. You can progress in a relationship by suggesting an after work coffee or finding out what’s going on locally and hosting a social event for several of your colleagues.
– Similarly, children can reunite parents.Whether it’s through school events, the PTA, or chatting on the doorstep of the school. Those little moments of connection can gradually become more meaningful and add real value to our lives. Friends encourage us to be sociable, they motivate us to try harder to take care of ourselves, they give us advice if we are struggling with something they are familiar with. How often do we ask our friends for recommendations? It is good to be referred to a tried and tested merchant when we need it.
– It is important that our friends have aspirations similar to ours. It can be awkward and embarrassing if our friend has a lot more disposable income than we do or wants to party more often than we do. Sometimes we have to be open and honest, say what we can commit to, and stay calm. It is often cited that we become the five people we spend most of our time with. Make sure your friends motivate and inspire you instead of exhausting and exhausting.
Making new friends works best when it is an easy process, when it is logistically convenient and adds value to our lives. To support and nurture new relationships we have to make time, want them in our lives, and be able to afford the time, money, and effort. Sometimes chores and work have to be relegated to the background.